oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He felt like a one man threesome
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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