I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
