forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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