I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
