when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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