Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
