All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
