areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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