you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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