My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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