It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
