i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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