Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
