Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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