Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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