My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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