is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
