Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
