I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
