Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
