soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
