I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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