literally had 100 drinks last night.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
