oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
