your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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