woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
2020 sucks, I want a refund
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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