I can tuck mytits in my pants
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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