its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
