So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
