As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
