I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Sober January is a disaster.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
