hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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