i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
