It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
