there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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