I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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