Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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