yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
