Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Your cock deserves a montage
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
