That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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