Christians are straight up FREAKS
please come you make the beer taste better
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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