I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
