We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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