And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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