The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
