I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
