So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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