Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
