we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
