I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
