I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
