I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
